Judging by the sad madness in our nation’s Wal-Marts, it must be the holiday season. The days are getting shorter, the lines are getting longer, and it’s becoming more and more important to cram as much as we can into the hours between sunup and sundown.
My friends and I like to play a game where we condense a band’s entire lyrical output to one characteristic line; it can be a line that sums up their philosophy neatly (as my friend Ben points out, nearly any Fugazi lyric will do there), or something that’s indicative of the types of stories they tell (according to my friend Jason, literally any Black Sabbath line will do). So, in keeping with the season of sharing, get together with a few friends, throw on a yule log and the Beach Boys Christmas record, and start stuffing.
In The Comments: Let us know what you come up with below. With thanks to Jason, Ben, Robbie, and Josh, here are a few examples to get you started. words/ m. garner
The Hold Steady :: “She was a pretty cool kisser and she wasn’t all that strict of a Christian.”
Nirvana :: “Teenage angst has paid off well; now I’m bored and old.”
The Minutemen :: “Punk rock changed our lives.”
The Replacements :: “One foot in the door, the other one in the gutter.”
Joy Division :: “I’ve got the spirit, but lose the feeling.”
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ryan adams: love may be hell, but i’m a heartbreaker.
1 | robbie December 2nd, 2008 at 5:10 pmRoxy Music – “Well I’m here looking through an old picture frame, just waiting for the perfect view”
2 | Wes December 2nd, 2008 at 5:15 pmNeil Young: I’m a pauper in a naked disguise, a millionaire through a business man’s eyes
3 | patrick December 2nd, 2008 at 5:18 pmwilco – i am an american aquarium drinker, i assassin down the avenue
/sorry, couldn’t resist
4 | theMike December 2nd, 2008 at 5:21 pmThe Who: “They call me ‘The Seeker’. I’ve been searching low and high.”
5 | Lefty December 2nd, 2008 at 5:23 pmBruce Springsteen: “Well I got this guitar and I learned how to make it talk”
6 | Brad K. December 2nd, 2008 at 5:59 pmGNR: “Your daddy works in porno, now that mommy’s not around.”
7 | Kevin December 2nd, 2008 at 6:05 pmI have to also suggest a Neil Young:
“Helpless, helpless, helpless.”
8 | Kramer December 2nd, 2008 at 6:09 pmWarren Zevon: “I went home with a waitress, the way I always do.”
9 | Dave in CO December 2nd, 2008 at 6:15 pmThe Mountain Goats: “It will be too late by the time we learn what these cryptic symbols mean.”
10 | Chris December 2nd, 2008 at 6:20 pmElliot Smith: “I’m never gonna know you now, but I’m gonna love you anyhow”
11 | Jeff S December 2nd, 2008 at 6:21 pmor Explosions in The Sky : “The night falls dark, the ripper is on the prowl, DARK IS HIS SOUL.”
12 | Jeff S December 2nd, 2008 at 6:24 pmAni DiFranco: “I am not a pretty girl, that is not what I do.”
13 | courtney December 2nd, 2008 at 6:42 pmooh the elliott smith one is good, jeff.
14 | theMike December 2nd, 2008 at 7:05 pmMagnetic Fields – “I Don’t Believe You”
15 | Satisfied '75 December 2nd, 2008 at 7:23 pmRadiohead, “I’m not here. This isnt happening.”
16 | M December 2nd, 2008 at 7:57 pmFlaming Lips, “Will the fight for our sanity be the fight of our lives?”
Broken Social Scene , “We have to menstruate in disguise.”
Leonard Cohen – “Myself, I long for love and light. But must it come so cruel, and oh so bright?”
17 | Kaley December 2nd, 2008 at 8:03 pmthe hold steady one might also be “and he said take a hit, hold your breath and i’ll dunk your head / yeah then when you wake up again, yeah you’ll be high as hell and born again” (too long?)
18 | Zach December 2nd, 2008 at 8:36 pmThe Smiths, “I wear black on the outside, because black is how I fell on the inside”
19 | Eli December 2nd, 2008 at 9:00 pmEels: “I’m turning out just like my father, tho I swore I never would.”
20 | Chris December 2nd, 2008 at 9:01 pmI would say this is more appropriate for Wilco:
21 | SD December 2nd, 2008 at 10:13 pm“Music is my savior. I was maimed by rock and roll. I was tamed by rock and roll. Got my name from rock and roll.”
for Refused fans out there. This one might be cliche but….. “And how can we expect anyone to listen if we are using the same old voice? We need new noise , new art for the real people.”
22 | Jeff S December 2nd, 2008 at 11:54 pmSpringsteen:
“Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true, or is it something worse…”
Other possibilities for the Boss:
23 | WB December 2nd, 2008 at 11:57 pm“It’s a town full of losers and I’m pulling out of here to win.”
“It ain’t no sin to be glad you’re alive.”
Sisqo: “Let Me See That Thong”
24 | uwmryan December 3rd, 2008 at 12:06 amI feel like Bruce fits in that same category as Sabbath, where nearly everything he says fits his philosophy perfectly. It’s sorta like how for the past fifteen years, Snoop Dogg has been in the constant state of reasserting the fact that he is, indeed, Snoop Dogg.
25 | Marty December 3rd, 2008 at 12:08 amI agree that any Springsteen lyric fits his philosophy pretty well, but a particularly good one in my opinion is:
26 | A.J. December 3rd, 2008 at 12:47 am“At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet and a freight train running through the
middle of my head.”
My pick for Neil Young:
“It doesn’t mean that much to me to mean too much to you.”
Silver Jews:
“I know that a lot of what I say has been lifted off of men’s room walls.
Maybe I’ve crossed the wrong rivers and walked down all the wrong halls.”
Wilco- Not For the Season “Love left over from lovers leaving”
Fabakis.com
27 | Matt December 3rd, 2008 at 2:14 am[...] Drunkard asked an interesting question yesterday – which sentence from their lyrics would best summarizes a particular band’s entire output? [...]
28 | Stumbling Over Chaos :: And we’ll keep on linking ’til they take our linkiness away December 3rd, 2008 at 5:03 amAmy Winehouse: “They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said ‘No, no, no.’” (Yes, I know, it was ridiculously obvious.)
29 | Frostokovich December 3rd, 2008 at 8:00 amRichmond Fontaine – ‘Broken, blown, lost and blue’
30 | Angus December 3rd, 2008 at 8:26 amDrive By Truckers- “Rock and Roll means well but it can’t help telling young boys lies.”
31 | Mr B December 3rd, 2008 at 9:36 amSocial Distortion “Your momma said I was a loser,
32 | David Baker December 3rd, 2008 at 10:01 amA dead end cruiser, And deep inside I know that she was right.”
Elvis Costello : Good manners and bad breath get you nowhere.
33 | coopini December 3rd, 2008 at 11:13 amFrank Zappa: Joined the bus on the 33rd seat
34 | Paul Eisenberg December 3rd, 2008 at 11:35 amBy the doo-doo room with the reek replete
The Beatles: “It’s just a state of mind.”
35 | tomaq December 3rd, 2008 at 12:13 pmRun DMC
“we’re run dmc got a beef to settle,
36 | ChrisH December 3rd, 2008 at 12:23 pmD’s not hansel, he’s not gretel “
Tom Waits: I spent all my money in a Mexican whorehouse, across the street from a catholic church…(Wait, no, that sums up my philosphy neatly)
37 | W. Lee December 3rd, 2008 at 12:55 pmIt’s just the way that he sings,
38 | Kevin December 3rd, 2008 at 1:03 pmnot the words that he says,
or the band.
I’m in love with this soul,
it’s a meaning that I understand.
- Jim James, The Way That He Sings, Accidental Autobiography
Bob Dylan: “Little rooster crowing, there must be something on his mind.”
39 | Aaron B. December 3rd, 2008 at 1:41 pmKevin, that’s so perfectly MMJ.
Could Tom Waits be “What’s he building in there? What the *hell* is he building in there?”
40 | Marty December 3rd, 2008 at 2:02 pmThe Libertines: “I’ve tried so hard to keep myself from falling back into my bad old ways.”
41 | Jeremy December 3rd, 2008 at 3:30 pmGetting blowjobs from the press
Oh, i’m jealous, can’t you guess?
But I could never fit your dress
Queen Elvis
Robyn HItchcock
42 | Todd Carlstrom December 3rd, 2008 at 4:26 pm…and everything under the sun is in tune,
But the sun is eclipsed by the moon.
Pink Floyd
43 | Todd Carlstrom December 3rd, 2008 at 4:38 pmCan anyone think of one for Pavement? I’m wracking my brains.
44 | Todd Carlstrom December 3rd, 2008 at 4:40 pmPavement – “We Are Underused”
45 | Satisfied '75 December 3rd, 2008 at 5:06 pmThe Modern Lovers- “I go to bakeries all day long, cause there’ a lack of sweetness in my life.
46 | Terry December 3rd, 2008 at 5:27 pmSpoon: “We could go kick down some doors together / Stay out ’til morning, sharp as knives”
Tom Waits: “I got a bad liver and broken heart / I drunk me a river since you tore me apart”
47 | Stranger Jay December 3rd, 2008 at 6:56 pmPavement – “I’ve been crowned the king of it, and it’s all we have.”
48 | Marty December 3rd, 2008 at 7:02 pmPavement — “Hey you’ve gotta pay your dues before you pay the rent.” (I like yours too Marty.)
49 | Matt December 3rd, 2008 at 7:50 pmMinor Threat -”Small man, big mouth”
50 | Satisfied '75 December 3rd, 2008 at 7:51 pmYeah Yeah Yeahs — “It’s our time sweet babe, to break on through / It’s the year to be hated / So glad that we made it”
Cash — “Till things are brighter, I’m the man in black”
Wu-Tang Clan — Wu Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthin’ to F*ck Wit’
51 | Matt December 3rd, 2008 at 8:20 pmOh my gosh, I can’t believe I didn’t think up that Wu-Tang one. That’s so perfect.
Atlas Sound/Deerhunter – “I’m waiting to be changed.”
52 | Marty December 3rd, 2008 at 10:44 pmMy bad, that one’s just Atlas Sound. Deerhunter – “Crucified on a cross in front of all my closest friends.”
53 | Marty December 3rd, 2008 at 10:44 pmCold War Kids – “One hundred years of solitude and only twelve years old”
54 | Joel December 3rd, 2008 at 11:55 pmTom Waits (later): “Never trust a man in a blue tench coat, never drive a car when you’re dead”
Tom Waits (early): “Someone pour me a cab, I just can’t drink no more”
55 | Alex December 4th, 2008 at 10:56 amOh, and who could forget the Ramones:
56 | Alex December 4th, 2008 at 11:07 am“There’s no stoppin’ the cretins from hoppin”
I leave early in the morning and I won’t be back till next year. I see that kiss-me pucker forming, but maybe you should plug it with a beer. – Magnetic Fields
You know the bottle ain’t to blame and I ain’t trying to. It don’t make you do a thing it just lets you. – Mike Cooley, Drive-by Truckers
Look me in the eye, then, tell me that I’m satisfied. – Replacements
Come pick me up, Take me out, Fuck me up, Steal my records, Screw all my friends… – Ryan Adams
I miss the innocence I’ve known, Playing KISS covers, beautiful and stoned – Wilco
57 | Ella B. December 4th, 2008 at 11:19 amElla: The Ryan Adams and Wilco picks are damn good.
58 | Stranger Jay December 4th, 2008 at 12:53 pmSon Volt’s
‘Tear Stained Eye’:
“Walkin down Main Street,
gettin’ to know the concrete
Lookin’ for a purpose from a neon sign.”
or
‘Windfall’:
“Switching it over to AM
Searching for a truer sound
Can’t recall the call letters
Steel guitar and settle down
Catching an all-night station somewhere in Louisiana
It sounds like 1963, but for now it sounds like heaven
May the wind take your troubles away
May the wind take your troubles away
Both feet on the floor, two hands on the wheel,
May the wind take your troubles away.”
(yea, it’s long…but it’s good)
59 | russell hollywood December 4th, 2008 at 1:21 pm“ladies, let me tell you about myself i got a dick for a brain
60 | dr. colossus December 4th, 2008 at 1:48 pmand my brain is gonna sell my ass to you” greg dulli (afghan whigs)
Magnolia Electric Co. (Jason Molina): “Now that the big gray owl above me, she starts again to wail, she says that moon has got so low tonight that it’s polishing the rail…”
61 | Dave December 4th, 2008 at 1:54 pmTalking Heads: This ain’t no party, this ain’t no disco, this ain’t no fooling around.
X: We’re desparate, get used to it.
Specials: Stop you’re messing around, time to think of your future.
Young Neil Young: Everybody knows this is nowhere
62 | Morgan Edge December 5th, 2008 at 9:14 amOld Neil Young: People my age, they don’t do the things I do.
new order – “ive lived my life on alcohol, ive lived my life on pills”
a stupidly obvious nin one – “i hurt myself today, to see if still feel, i focus on the pain, the only thing thats real”
ryan adams – “i was at the bar til 6, oh lord, but i wasnt ready to go, im never ready to go
depeche mode – “i’ll give in to sin, because i like to practise what i preach”
sigur ros – ha yeah right
63 | flynn December 6th, 2008 at 10:31 amthe smiths – “i decree today that life is simply taking and not giving
england is mine, it owes me a living”
the stone roses – “kiss me where the sun dont shine, the past was yours but the futures mine, your all out of time” (this one doesnt work for second coming era roses)
babyshambles – “OH PADDY PUT THE PIPE DOWN”
i really like this game
64 | flynn December 6th, 2008 at 11:02 amI know you listed the Minutemen but “maybe partying will help”
65 | david weitzman December 6th, 2008 at 6:46 pmArcade Fire:
MTV, what have you done to me? Save my soul, set me free!
or if you prefer…. Lil’ John:
Yeah. what? ooookaaaaaaaaay
66 | Vague Panther December 6th, 2008 at 9:24 pmPerhaps the most obvious one
Rolling Stones: If you start me up, I’ll never stop, never stop,never stop.
and then these
magnetic Fields: “it makes the sun shine, makes it rain; you just get out what they put in.”
M. Ward: “God it’s great to be alive, rips the skin right off my hide to think I’ll have to give it all up one day”
67 | Andy K December 7th, 2008 at 12:28 amMinutemen “we jam econo”
68 | Chance December 7th, 2008 at 6:55 pm